the truth about e-mails...

it occured to me whilst trying to set up my new e-mail account what happens to those e-mails that just don't get there or take an age to arrive you know when you could have written your message in indian ink on a parchment scroll and ridden a donkey to the destination quicker than the so called e for eversoquick mail could have got there. i have a theory that i will put forward and any one who has any comments or wisdom to add is welcome. once written the e-mail escapes from your computer as quick as it can partly to make you think its gone and partly to avoid getting rammed between the hard drive and the usb port. as soon as it is free from the computer the e-mail runs as fast as its little legs will carry it down the broadband line. the problem is that e-mails are inherantly frightened of other traffic so you can imagine their reaction when coming face to face with a 10megabite truck hurtling down the highway at the speed of light. of course they duck and dive to avoid being well eliminated. building up speed to make the giant leap from the end of the broadband highway up to the satellite is really hard work for a little e-mail and consequently some don't make it falling out of the sky like little shooting stars. if you look out on a clear night you can see them falling back to earth to be lost for ever. the strong e-mails reach the satellite with enough speed to bounce off and begin their descent. but in their effort to locate the right computer many of them are so focussed that they forget to look around and they bounce off aeroplane wings or get sliced in two by stray bullets (mainly over war zones) or just come down too flipping fast . its a known fact that loads of e-mails just crashland into the sea and drown or on land and get runover. the strongest e-mails however do make it to the incoming broadband tube and with a bit of slipping and sliding arrive smack bang into the correct mailbox. behind the scenes they do have a bit of a fight to see who get the highest message number and arrives top of your list. the spamm e-mails carry guns and knives and often threaten the personal e-mails to make sure they get through. so when you open your mail box spare a thought for the poor little e-mail who has probably gone through hell and high water just to make it to your screen. read it, re-read it say thankyou little e-mail for being so strong and getting through just for me......then delete the little bastard...